The DANK Pod - A Disney Adult Adventure

DANK Pod: A Disney Adult Adventure - Disney Resorts and an Epic Universe Review

• Jonathan Perez

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JP:

Happy thoughts. Here we go. Ready?

USB:

Babe. We still

JP:

Don't tease her. She's not the invisible man. Yeah. a hundred percent. I see her. She's staring directly at us, head on, like happy go lucky. She's got those beautiful, clear glasses on. Living, living her life. I thought they look, they look fantastic. Well done. Yeah. I'm so proud of you. Natalie looks confused.

USB:

So it's

Ash:

Yes,

JP:

all that you're, you know, Natalie, if you're not gonna be part of the solution, be part of the problem. That's what I always say.

USB:

you know, I can be a problem. Don't, don't,

Nancy:

Welcome to the DANK Pod! Join us on our chaotic adventure of what it means to be Disney Adults. Like, follow, comment, and share wherever you listen. Send any questions or feedback to us at the dank pod at gmail.com This week we're chatting about Disney resorts. Natalie holds Jonathan's feet to the fire over his opinion of premier resort value. And the Beardies pop by to share their Epic Universal experiance. Let's get DANK!

JP:

Are we ready to get

Ash:

Good. Dan,

USB:

Let's get Dang.

JP:

What do we what are we talking about this week?

Ash:

Resort Life. Yeah. I don't know too much about it. We

JP:

We certainly have

Ash:

how much resort life have you been having?

JP:

I've been having a lot of resort life. I resort to some pretty interesting games and tactics when you're not I feel like we do have some experts at the upper echelon of resorts on this call this on this

USB:

We're far from experts, but are all of from high to the highs. it's,

JP:

Hey, how high up thir? Like three third floor, 20th floor. How high up you going at these Wait, wait. What is the most recent one you went to?

USB:

Coronado

JP:

And is that, so is that, that's a, that's a premium resort or is That,

Ash:

think it's, I was gonna say it's like higher,

JP:

It's high mod. It's

Ash:

would say high mod. but not quite Preme.

JP:

Okay. I like you. I like it. I like yeah. Some high mod action. And so Coronado Springs has a number of floors, but you guys stayed at club level.

JR:

So

JP:

yeah. Let me hear the story.

USB:

we

JP:

Oh, there was a birthday celebration.

USB:

check-in. never get it again.

JP:

you feel great. about,'cause you talk, you're a good talker.

USB:

Yeah. It's right when I'm talking to this is out All, fan well,

JP:

yeah, all the fan. Tell me about it. So like, so January, you were there. What, what transpired? January. You were in the car.

JR:

I was in the car was like

JP:

There's, there's always a

Ash:

Was it a surprise? Like, did you know you were going to this resort or No?

USB:

She didn't know what resort. She never knows

Ash:

That's fun.

JP:

I, I, that's the perfect way to live your I'm going to Disney. I don't know where, but I'm going. I'll find out when I get there. No, hell no. Are you kidding

JR:

Why not?

JP:

I need to have some

Ash:

He does not like surprises, but he doesn't

JP:

That's not true. I like to be involved in the planning process. Yeah. I, I like to supervise, I like to be involved in the planning process from the upper level. Like, look down and just

USB:

you wanna, it just sounds like you wanna

JP:

no, I don't want to like, put the plan together. I wanna say we need a place to stay. Should be a Disney resort. Pick one. I, we need to go to a park on this day. Pick one. We need to eat. Pick a place to eat. And then I want you to fill in all the connective

Ash:

That's

JP:

Mm. That's planning. Notice. I'm not denying the, so what happened when you walked in there? You, you were at the counter checking counter,

USB:

So we're, we're, we're in the line. Well, I'm in the line awesome or

JP:

Hazing

USB:

Um,

JP:

Real quick, real quick, real quick. You didn't use the, you didn't check in through the MDE app?

USB:

no.

JP:

No.

USB:

And if I would have, I wouldn't have gotten what I would, what, what I got. So no.

Ash:

dusted.

JP:

well why don't burst or bubble? I like to hear about the

USB:

did have additional questions we had so I'm, I'm talking to the gentleman he asked, you know, are you celebrating Floridian the Brown

Ash:

Fancy.

USB:

he's like, whoa. And you know, are because like our groups are so large sit separate And which I get, I was just if it's a hard no or dependent You know, um, exactly. So, I'm feeling magical, gonna upgrade you that was lounge and I didn't, it was, the lounge was great. has breakfast snacks alcoholic Again, all part of the, so that was that pixie dust from the catch. The fireworks

JR:

it's called the

Ash:

Oh wow. That's super cool.

JP:

nice,

JR:

Yeah. When, when we weres

Ash:

Hell yeah.

JR:

out

USB:

Yeah.'cause you know, you can hang out in the resort till like the end of your day. And like we checked out at at the, lounge. we some chess,

Ash:

So in this instance, the lounge is the equivalent of like club level in other places.'cause that, that's what I understood club level to at the other resorts is there's like food and premium seating Okay, cool. That's That's super

JP:

We're gonna have to go okay?

USB:

that was me missing

JP:

Oh, okay. I was like,

Ash:

like, I mean that seems reasonable.

JP:

nice.

JR:

that

JP:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's fair. What's the, if you were going to like, quantify like the amount of time to spend at a resort, the amount of time needed to spend downtime at the resort in order to justify the spend, if so to speak, does that, does that exist for you? Like, is it a so is, are you like mixing those days in? Is it like day one? You don't go to the park and you stay at the resort, like your check-in day?'cause you can check in super early and just use the amenities while you, you're waiting for your room. And then how many days, how many park days are you, are you working in there in between the. Those

JR:

if I was

JP:

So you're doing, so you're doing uh, check-in resort day, then you're doing park day, park day, park day, park day, resort day. Well, I,

Ash:

So you're saying like a solid

JP:

whole week there

Ash:

of re of

JP:

book ended with two resort days, like two wind Okay. Okay. Natalie, Natalie has some thoughts. I can see the thoughts peaking around her eyes. Tell me, Natalie, what are your, what are your park days looking like or what are your, what are your what, what's your threshold for if you're gonna stay at the how much time do you have to stay there the spend? For our listener, Natalie's very deep in thought and you can't hear her thinks crashing around in there. It's getting close. It's bubbling to the surface.

USB:

am I a pass holder or am I

JP:

You're, you're, you, you're Natalie.

USB:

I may, yeah, I may times we might like come right

JP:

Mm-hmm.

USB:

so it can, as a pass

JP:

Mm-hmm.

USB:

like three or four hours

JP:

Gotcha. And how many days are you booking a resort for? So are you saying that you're booking a resort for the resort and the park is the perk?

USB:

like, we go for like Like, I haven't, we've

JP:

Okay.

USB:

I've, I've

JP:

Mm-hmm.

USB:

like, I live Why would

JP:

To, yeah.

USB:

somewhere else

JP:

I

USB:

was like, that's, I will, I will. Absolutely not. have like obviously coming outta state or if I weren't a pass But as a pass I don't

Ash:

You're going on a staycation.

JP:

And I, I, as floor residents as well, we, we enjoy. Staying at the resorts when we visit the parks.

USB:

yeah. You're, but you also like a drive away.

JP:

not terrible. An hour 45. You know, it's definitely

USB:

But when once it hits you at bedtime, you know what happens?

JP:

Yeah. I get pretty cranky.

USB:

games out

Ash:

you've not hit the resort life like you, you enjoy the Disney bubble.

JP:

That's that's fair. That's

Ash:

But we have not gone to a resort for resort time, like pool and chill and

JP:

It's more like, I just wanna, I, I enjoy staying in a Disney

Ash:

But maybe you, it's because we haven't been to

JP:

yeah. I feel like we're at that partner life where we need to switch to moderates. Like we, we kind of

Ash:

don't tempt me with a good time, sir. I've been trying to get you to enjoy the resort life for

JP:

resorts, but I think that we could, we're at a point in our life where moderates are probably

USB:

I, I think I I think you're past that think you're, don't stop playing It's been a good year. you guys, and they, and they have like, I, I really like the different like, you know, the

JP:

Summer

USB:

well, no, It's like. I guess,

JP:

is there an off season these days?

USB:

exactly. Go at all

JP:

that's a good moderate

Ash:

I've been wanting, I've been wanting

JR:

So

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

bro. I want a beignet, so like a good beignet so bad. We went to and had a beignet there and it was

JP:

and I, I'm telling you, I don't,

Ash:

I like, we think they didn't dress it with powdered sugar flour.

USB:

you know, this act.

Ash:

was so bad.

JP:

It was terrible.

USB:

actually perhaps our episode is Better Than

JP:

that's interesting. That's not our

USB:

how we did that?

JP:

though.

JR:

It's not our next

USB:

I know. changed my mind. It happened Organically Why would you kill my dream?

JP:

We could go down that road. I don't think you're gonna win it.

Ash:

I mean, I think we need,

USB:

I'm switching it right now.

Ash:

I think we need more Disney food exposure. No,

JP:

you know, I,

USB:

yeah. And I would need Aspo, I only have your opinion to go by and we already know about the Italian nachos.

JP:

let's so let's put a pin in that and let's get we gotta get Natalie to do market research and get her over to Universal. Yeah. That way she can taste the food.

Ash:

Oh, that's

JP:

the Nah, that's not

USB:

No, no. Market research isn't gonna happen have to buy a ticket. We already told you the, the rides. They make have It's not. It's not on the Stop being a man and pressuring

Ash:

Put your penis away.

JP:

Put my penis away. It gets caught in a zipper. All So let's get, let's, let's steer this one back on, on, on course. Speaking of maybe a ship that did go off course, did you see what happened at the park? Somebody drove, they drove the ferry into the pylons Today.

USB:

What's a

JP:

that today? The, the poles that, the magic

USB:

I'll Google

Ash:

water

JP:

lagoon.

Ash:

Google it.

JP:

They, I would have, if so, when I was like, when I, like when I would drive around in the car with my brother, he's like, if somebody like rear-ends you, you should just take a hand in the back of the head and just smash your face off the dash and try to get that money. If you were on the, if you were on the ferry in the seventies lagoon and it like struck the, the barrier there at the end, would you just be like, my neck, my back, I want 150,000, but I'll settle right now outta court for a lifetime pass.

JR:

Well, you gotta get

JP:

That's a whole different podcast. That's a, the Legal Eagle podcast. Look him up. He's a, he's a good dude.

USB:

know,

JP:

The, I, I would say your, your ticket probably absolves them of, of that. Like, they, they would probably make right by you, but you'd probably have a terrible time suing in court over the boat bumping into a wall and you leaving without an injury. That kind of goes through the resorts. Magic Kingdom is tied to what, three resorts directly on the monorail line. The poly contemporary and what's that? Plantation looking one, the Grand Floridian. And,

USB:

and I've never vibes, the shining.

JP:

Oh, when you're inside it, I get those vibes too. We're talking about Grant Floridian, right? Yeah. That I get those vibes too. I get Luxor vibes out of the contemporary. Would you? Out of the, out of the, the big, it's like the isn't that the pyramid in Vegas.

JR:

oh, I, I don't Vegas though. The, the Pyramid

USB:

Hotel. I wouldn't know

JP:

Oh, sorry. I'm my bad, my

USB:

I

JP:

Hotel in Vegas

USB:

I, I

JP:

with the sl, the concrete slab, slanted walls that like, I get the vibe that they're trying to throw down inside of the contemporary. What I don't like is how they've tried to modernize some of the elements.

Ash:

and the

JP:

Yeah. I think the whole thing is outdated. It is, it is. It,

JR:

probably

JP:

the mural is so cool though. The, in the, that center. Does it feel like a subway or like a, like an like an 80, 1980s airport lounge. And then they're trying to like, so you, they get that, that burgundy carpet that like short pill, burgundy carpet kind of, kind of vibe. And there's like, there's an avocado fridge somewhere in that avocado colored fridge. Somewhere in there. it It's pretty. You expect it. They, they, it's a, it's gotta have a pretty rickety elevator by now. It's gotta squeak. They, it's a cool, it's a cool hotel. I'm just, you're not gonna catch me trying to stay there. I also don't feel like, I don't feel worthy to stay at the Grand Floridian. I'm not, I'm not white enough for that.

Ash:

they're about to

JR:

want, you wanna

JP:

Mm-hmm. But you can't use the pool with just a dinner gift of a key card.

USB:

You have to have bands.

JP:

Yeah, I like that. You're that, that you are exactly what they're trying to protect against. Now she's parking at Disney Springs, she's hopping the bus over to

USB:

I have an annual pass. I don't have to worry about

JP:

I

USB:

it together. Okay.

JR:

you have a recreation. Right. They will check.

JP:

Well, you can, you can go to Grand Floridian without parking there. You just park at Magic Kingdom and walk over.

JR:

If you Right.

JP:

Or you can just walk over. It's a footpath. There's a footpath. You, can, but footpath is nice to hold hands on.

USB:

I want to try the.

JP:

We, yeah. But mostly we've stayed at value resorts, which are nice. They're not bad. they're nice. what they don't have is that high end vibe. It's really, just a standard motel that is overtly themed,

USB:

Which one's your favorite? Which ones have you stayed at so far?

JP:

just all stars.

USB:

repeated any?

JP:

I don't think we've repeated any,

Ash:

we've, they've both been

JP:

Yeah. Well maybe we did repeat,

Ash:

We stayed at sports and

JP:

didn't we stay at eras or something like that? I forget hmm. I walked through it though.

Ash:

You, you're thinking of

JP:

Okay. Yeah. I'm probably thinking about pop, so I will avoid a OA and I'll avoid PopPop is like low, moderate, right?

JR:

call I haven't stayed we went through pop

Ash:

Oh, so it's high value

JP:

Yeah. A OA art of a pop and a OA Yeah.

USB:

Right. That's the one that we went through together, right. That we Yeah. I thought it was very cute. Obviously but I like, like,

JP:

They're pretty standard rooms. They're not anything

USB:

yeah, they're not, I mean, I don't, Ima like, the mids, like we've done, pirate We've done

JP:

Port Orleans, yeah, that is one. Yeah,

Ash:

That's her, I mean, business voice, if you couldn't tell,

JP:

and that's, that's a moderate

Ash:

It is.

JP:

Yeah. That's where, that's the vibe I'm feeling is where we'll probably hang

USB:

Right. And and that's it. And it's really cute. Like again, it's like, can't imagine.

JP:

Does have access to the skyliner. Right.

USB:

Yeah. Yes they do.

JP:

If you had to give, I wanna do

USB:

have not done

JP:

you've done Animal kingdom? No. There's like for Fort Wilderness and then the Animal Kingdom yeah, I think I,

JR:

love yes.

JP:

I don't want to stay at the Resorts,

USB:

Why? You

JP:

man. I, I, I don't like them. I like the ra, I like the food at boma. I

USB:

haven't, What don't you like about

JP:

I don't like the layout. I

USB:

You don't like the la They all have different layouts.

JP:

yeah, yeah, yeah. I've, I've walked through them all. I don't like them.

USB:

walk through all of them.

JP:

Yes,

Ash:

We've walked

JR:

like the dolphin

JP:

What's that? I have been, I have walked through the Dolphin and Swan. I, those are partnered well with bike friends. Those are partnership those are partner resorts. They're not really Disney

USB:

Yeah, that, that's what I was

JP:

And we have, we, we stay, we stayed at the partner resorts in the past and for what we paid to stay at the partner resort, I would rather stay at on, on Disney

USB:

And that's cute. I wasn't talking partner. That was Bay asking Back to

JP:

mm-hmm.

USB:

wrong with the What?

Ash:

So, I mean, I think Polly not our vibe.

JP:

Poll's Polly's. Not my vibe. It's probably a

Ash:

Floridian is not your

JR:

is that where BOMA

JP:

No,

Ash:

no. It's at Animal Kingdom. So we've actually walked in some spaces we probably shouldn't have at Animal Kingdom. I wouldn't be opposed to staying there, but

JP:

to back out of the lion's den pretty quickly that time.

Ash:

Literally. I don't know why you're opposed

JP:

I don't,

Ash:

I understand why you

USB:

I, think you guys are,

JP:

It's not my vibe. I don't I won't stop anyone from staying there. You, you, y'all can stay there. It's, I

USB:

just, I'm just trying to, I'm, I'm not judging you. I don't wanna

Ash:

we're just trying to

JP:

Yeah.

USB:

this is not like I don't like it for this

JP:

Yeah. It's just not,

USB:

you wanna not like it.

JP:

yeah. I don't, I don't like the vibe.

USB:

Remember, remember that statement when you try to get us to the switch out

JP:

Yeah. That's cool. I'm trying to get you to do it. I'm trying to get January to do it. The issue with trying to get January to trade pins is that January is like, oh, I like this pin. I'm gonna keep this pin forever. This pin's my best friend and she's never gonna trade it away. For, for things like the, but the amenities, the restaurants. So I like to go to, I like to go to Beaumont Animal Kingdom. I like to walk around. I think that's a nice treat. If you're, if you're taking some days exploring it, go to the restaurant, look around the, the campus, the facilities, explore the walking paths and see the animals. You'll have a ton, you'll have a ton of fun. It's at least a three hour trip, four hour trip to that resort alone. Go to the contemporary, eat at Chef Mickey's. Look at the seasonal or the Christmas displays there. Go to the Grand Floridian, walk around. Maybe there's a wedding that you can not interrupt or distract from, but you could see Cinderella's carriage kind of parked out front there. Look at the gingerbread house, which won't be up this year. Right.

Ash:

They're renovating.

JP:

so, but yeah, go to the poly, eat at the restaurant, go to the beach at the Seven Seas Lagoon and watch the fireworks show from the Poly. Those are great things to do and explore and have fun there. But also, like, you don't have, I don't have to spend a whole bunch of money to enjoy those things. I can, I can spend my, I can spend the dollars at a

USB:

because you don't wanna spend the money. That's

JP:

see the value. I don't see the value

USB:

Okay. So that's okay. You see how we got there? I just,

Ash:

he makes it so hard sometimes,

JP:

it's

USB:

know That's

JP:

not my vibe. That's what I'm saying. Like, that's not my vibe.

USB:

No, no, no,

Ash:

it's, why

JP:

isn't to take that money

USB:

totally your vibe because if if it were the right price, you would do it.

JP:

I don't know. You know what I like, so there's some other

Nat:

you just said no, you're don't, don't backpedal. You said it.

JP:

no, no, no, no, no. I didn't say that. That's not in the words of Natalie, don't put those words in my mouth. Those words didn't come outta my mouth. I would

USB:

it. But you just said, I don't wanna

JP:

I, yeah, I don't wanna spend that money on that and, and'cause the value's not there, but

USB:

Okay. That's,

JP:

lemme, lemme know when I can get in here.

USB:

yeah.

JP:

fucking blinker on. I'm trying to merge. Just trying to merge. Just trying to

USB:

you gonna backed, okay, go ahead.

JP:

forward. What I do, like, what is my vibe is stuff like port, port Orleans, Caribbean Beach Resort. I like, I like the Caribbean beach resort. I like the color. I like the vibe that you're getting there. I like, yeah.

USB:

I love you so much. I love you hard. I love you. Just as hard as you love

JP:

I love you so fucking hard. But I don't, I'm not, I don't feel that way when

USB:

I, feel you

JP:

it's hard to, like, it's hard to put it into words. I don't feel that way when I

USB:

because I just told you, I told you I didn't want to even spend moderate, basic, high end. I was like, nah, that's, I live here. I'm not doing And here I am four years later and it's been the Riviera, which was the first one, which we absolutely, I was like, holy

JP:

That's cool. Have you stayed at the yacht club?

USB:

No, not the yata.

JP:

The only, the only way you could get me to stay at Poly is in a bungalow or if you paid for it. But I won't turn it down if it's free, but I'm like, I would stay at a bungalow. I would stay you would have a really difficult time getting me to stay at the contemporary. It's just,

Nat:

the like.

JP:

I would, almost

Ash:

rather I heard club level at the contemporaries.

USB:

The contemporary, is that theirs or is that a sister

Ash:

No, it's

JP:

That's

USB:

That's theirs. okay. Okay.

JP:

that's one of the OG

USB:

It's like, it's like for like the doll, like the ones that are like with the Marriott. I'm just like, if, if we end up doing those, I'll probably leave those four last because I do

JP:

Yeah. There are others too, like just the Hyatt one, which is like, not even themed, like dolphin swan, but it's all, it's still in, yeah. There's, I mean, there's some resort amenities, but the, it's for the same amount of money. You could just stay, you could stay, you could stay at moderate and have lunch for the same amount of money that you stay, spend staying there and not have to pay for parking. It's, it, is, it, it, they're a little too big for their britches at some of those joints.

Ash:

so you can stay.

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

So I was looking at a random weekend in July. You can stay at the

JP:

Oh, that

USB:

what I'm. saying.

JP:

I, don't know.

Ash:

He didn't know it was that expensive. He's,

JP:

expensive? I didn't know it was that

Ash:

concerned. Oh, well no, there's a promo. No, no, no, no, no, no.

USB:

It's not

JP:

say, I didn't say the Yacht Hub wasn't my

USB:

No, no, It's not

JP:

it's not what I said. That's not what I

USB:

end resorts are not your vibe.

JP:

the contemporary, I said the Poly and I said the Grand Floridian and Animal Kingdom

Ash:

So right now

JP:

I want to stay right

Ash:

now, Disney's running a promotion where certain resorts are up to 40% off per night. Between like June 1st and the end of July or something

JP:

oh, we're probably trying to capture some of this audience that's coming to town for

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

the is

JP:

let's shift gears a little bit. We have a, we'll, we'll have a special guest or guests tonight instead of checking the mail. I think we'll check in on the mails. That's cute. Yeah, we're past that actually.

USB:

Ashley's trying to, she's ready to upgrade baby. Ashley, keep looking up. I support it.

JP:

Let's give'em a call.

USB:

thank you for calling Papa John's. No, I'm just kidding.

Justin and Alec:

Hello.

JP:

Hello, Justin. How are you? This fine evening.

Justin and Alec:

I'm good. you?

JP:

I'm doing just s well.

USB:

I love you so much. Oh my God. I want you, like, I just try to

Justin and Alec:

so excited to be on the dang pod

JP:

Oh, so we decided, instead of checking the mail, we would check in on the mails tonight. And

Ash:

I know he's been waiting all year for this

JP:

been so worried about this phone call all day long. Natalie's Natalie's over here sweating bullets,

Ash:

She's rubbing her forehead, her temples,

JP:

her temples, everything. We're having a good time. We thought we, we heard. That you had gone to visit Epic Universe and you had promised us a, a full review. So we had some questions. How do, are you open to maybe answering some questions? Can we,

Justin and Alec:

not. We are under embargo and we

JP:

you're, you're in

Ash:

I was gonna say the Embargo's like open,

JP:

I'm just hoping to probe them a little bit.

Ash:

sir. It's too early.

JP:

Natalie's face. Just, yeah. See, I told you they'd be down for that.

USB:

I

JR:

know they.

Ash:

That's another the concern. Yeah.

JP:

Let's get the good old Tua coming at you. Here we go.

Ash:

Question number one.

JP:

Question number one, when you close your eyes at night, do you think of me? That was not question, that was a test question. That was a test question. I was just, just rolling

Ash:

just making sure you just making sure you guys are paying attention.

Justin and Alec:

why do I have to wake up and go to work the next day?

Ash:

That's fair.

JP:

So you're ex, so let's start at the parking lot. Did you, where did you park?

Ash:

good, question.

JP:

good. Yeah.

Justin and Alec:

we kind of got lucky. We did a rope drop, we got pretty good parking. Yeah, we were the first parking lot behind Preferred and

JP:

Oh, did you take a wheelchair?

Justin and Alec:

No, I should have, but we didn't.

JP:

okay. Okay, okay. How long was the walk to the, to the gate?

Justin and Alec:

I would say maybe five or 10 minute walk, maybe like 5, 5,

Ash:

That's wild. than you.

Justin and Alec:

Yeah, it was, it was a walk. The parking lot was since it's not like raised or like in a parking garage, like how the park it seems more of an intense walk

Ash:

I told you it was like an optical illusion.

JP:

Was was valet broken?

Justin and Alec:

I don't think,

JP:

Oh, all we pay for

Ash:

They're not ap, sir. Stand down. Oh.

JP:

Okay. So you went into the main entrance through the that portally thingy.

Ash:

Fun fact. That's the one place we did not visit

JP:

we didn't go to, didn't go to the main entrance. What, what did, what, what was your initial impression? Walking through the,

Ash:

the gate.

JP:

yeah. That very phallic gate.

Justin and Alec:

So my first impression was God damn, I in this fucking park.

JP:

Is that good or bad?

Justin and Alec:

impression was, I'm like,

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

Oh, nice. Is it, is there like a yellow brick road

Ash:

leading up road?

JP:

to

Justin and Alec:

Kind it, I, I don't know. I was still in awe. I was like, I can't

Ash:

They weren't looking down.

JP:

Mm.

Justin and Alec:

I, I really wasn't looking. I, I did notice a lot of the, the, what really captured our statues I would say that was that caught my

JP:

Yeah. I, I agree. The, the, the art and the fixtures and the, the theming when you enter into those main spaces celestial Park is, is It, it's so much fun. What was your,

Justin and Alec:

Especially the backstory between the sun and it got

JP:

the battling, did you wrestle any comets while you were there?

Justin and Alec:

sadly we wrote a comment. Yeah, we wrote

Ash:

Just one.

Justin and Alec:

Yes.

JP:

So, which is better? Green or yellow?

Ash:

Well, they don't know.

Justin and Alec:

green one and I think that's the one that had, I, I think that was the only one that had the to like flip like it was really, really cool.

Ash:

Jonathan's traumatized and he doesn't remember riding those roller

JP:

Yeah. I, I, it's, it was terrible for me. Oh my God.

Justin and Alec:

Well, you've done velo coaster, right?

JP:

Yeah. But these are worse.

Justin and Alec:

I thought, I thought velo I think the drop that it This ride was very like, oh my God, that was super fast

JP:

This bitch made me write up front.

Ash:

We did. We made him

Justin and Alec:

oh yeah. Justin's on front run. Yes, same. It was great. I was like, oh, I can't believe I'm actually

JP:

It was insane. I was like, I kept looking at the, at the broad that comes by and checks your like, safety harness and shit. I was like, just all your I what? I said Brenda, all your body weight, Brenda, all your body weight.

Ash:

Don't skimp on it down. He wanted one more click.

JP:

hell? I'll take all the

Justin and Alec:

did like a simple tap. She was like, oh, you're good. I'm

JP:

Check again. Did you what? What was your favorite ride? Mm. Tell me

Justin and Alec:

categorize it in

JP:

Yeah, she

Justin and Alec:

favorite or

JP:

hit me. Yeah, absolutely.

Justin and Alec:

Okay. So for the main part, definitely

JP:

Mm-hmm.

Justin and Alec:

In the dark We didn't get to do the Frankenstein ride. That's monsters unchanged. Yeah. We didn't get to do that one, but because stop the day was down, it was down half the day and then it opened back up at like nine o'clock hours. no, I'm

JP:

People hustle. They run over there for that. I thought, I was like, is there a fire going on? What's happening? And people were just running over there.'cause the ride turned back

Ash:

So did you do curse of the werewolf?

Justin and Alec:

we did we thought it was gonna be like we didn't realize, like it did go by but for how small of a roller coaster it was, there was a lot audit. My only letdown once it was explained to me that there's one part of where. There's supposed to be the werewolf itself, to be popping

Ash:

oh,

Justin and Alec:

does not pop

Ash:

we didn't see them, did they?

JP:

broken just like Yeti.

Ash:

Did you guys get to meet any of the characters out there? The, the actors in

Justin and Alec:

invisible. We saw the

Ash:

That's cool. Yeah, he did a

Justin and Alec:

we watched

Ash:

Oh,

Justin and Alec:

we walked past and he was like holding a heart in his like, oh, that's

Ash:

we did not get the C Gore. We were very sad.

JP:

So was it hard just is where you just keep that you're not gonna Hmm. Okay. I didn't get to see Igor. Yeah. I was a little disappointed but I did get to the tell the werewolf story, I had

Justin and Alec:

We saw just the other vinyl just walking around.

JP:

And then I did see, had the interaction with the, an invisible man. I tried to like dad joke him. I was like, oh, oh, I didn't see you standing there. It did not work.

Justin and Alec:

God.

Ash:

land.

JP:

no, it didn't land. Yeah. That whole,

Ash:

but you're betrothed now to the bride of Frankenstein? We did

JP:

meet bride and we Yeah, I'm pretty sure that she owns I didn't meet, I broke her.

Ash:

She glitched.

JP:

Yeah, she definitely glitched When when she met me, I gave her a penny with the, with her from the bride of Frankenstein. Like they have,'cause they have those at universal. And, and she was like, she asked me like three times you made this. And I said, with my hands. shoved them

Ash:

out in front

JP:

Like they, like I had just received hands and was looking at them in awe, like, why do they call'em fingers? I never see'em ing. It was good. But okay, so, so ride limits. Did you, did you eat while you were in Dark Universe?

Justin and Alec:

We did,

Ash:

Oh, you did

JP:

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up. Tell me about Nintendo, your first impression. Are you Nintendo fans?

Justin and Alec:

we are. wearing my Mario

Ash:

aw,

JP:

Yeah. When your Mario shirt, does it just have Mario on it or is it like a replica of the Mario overalls,

Justin and Alec:

has

JP:

red M

Justin and Alec:

that No, it has Mario on

JP:

Nice. I I love that you finish each other's sentences. I love that for you, the, what was your impression when you went? Did you take the escalator up or did you take the side entrance in?

Justin and Alec:

So did both.

JP:

You did both.

Justin and Alec:

Because I, the first time we and that was really, it was very, very the sound

JP:

Can you gimme the sound of you getting suck up?

Ash:

That was, that was pretty good. you

JP:

you could come on. You could go, go better gimme, go hard. Go hard in the pain. Gimme a real good sucking sound.

Justin and Alec:

oh. Oh gosh. And I said we had to keep this

JP:

Natalie, she's shaking her head over here. Natalie, are you on mute? Can I not hear You are on mute. Natalie, come off mute. Interact, gimme some, gimme some love. Play with it. Play with us. Natalie, have you ever had a

USB:

boy time. The are playing. the side. I'll be over here with the girls

Justin and Alec:

you about to say, have you ever had a group session? The answer is

JP:

So you had so you had, so you went up the pipe, right? And when you walked out onto the terrace. What was your first impression?

Justin and Alec:

While it really feels like I'm in the game, except where do you, where do I press play?

JP:

That was

Justin and Alec:

Where's the star button? Yeah, where's, where's start? But the attention to that whole like the way they built kinda up to really like, kind of close You feel like you're Well, they try to suck you in with those wristbands. Yeah. The, the wristbands. I was like, oh, you know, this is cute, but I'll probably never use this damn

JP:

Did you buy one?

Justin and Alec:

No, no.

JP:

Oh, I got

Ash:

Is very self-aware of you? Good job.

JP:

Good job. Good job. I di I definitely did get a wristband and

Ash:

we hadn't even walked into the park yet. And these fools had all of them, all three of them.

JP:

yeah.

Ash:

I was the only smart one. I was like, I'm gonna spend my money

JP:

I was mad. I was like,

Justin and Alec:

my only negative, my only negative review about Super Nintendo that the restrooms, they are, they need better

Ash:

I was gonna say, did you even find one? Jonathan went in circles for like 20 minutes trying to find a restroom and got mad at me because I didn't know where it

Justin and Alec:

realize it Super Nintendo where

JP:

the one

Ash:

is, was that the under the sea one? Yeah. Okay. I think it's the only one in that land Is the I don't think so.

JP:

I went to the opposite side first.'cause I saw like a picture of a, a stick figure man and lady and I don't even know what was over there.'cause it, it wasn't a bathroom and.

Justin and Alec:

Yeah, Alec. Alec was very upset we were in line to like go eat at Toto Cafe, the way they had us lined up was but they were like, oh, you know, the lady told me, oh, if the three of you are not here, you can't go in.

Ash:

Hmm.

Justin and Alec:

third person to be here. And I was already like and I was And then I'm frantically just trying to run back over there. I'm like, I'm here.

JP:

Did you wash your hands?

Justin and Alec:

No, I, he came, we got sat and then I went to go run to the bathroom. Yeah. That was like, I didn't get to go yet. I was like, I'm so sorry,

JP:

That is that's a good move. Yeah. No, that, that, I mean, but that's a good move though. Like, for you to be like, all right, let me go get sat and then lemme just bolt outta here and run across this town. Did you get on the Mario world? Super, super Mario World rides.

Justin and Alec:

yes. yes. So we did, we did not do it basically I like the concept of it. I think it could like halfway, it could be longer I finally figured out halfway not look in one place. I need to like actually do a 360

JP:

Yeah,

Ash:

I was literally waving my head like Stevie Wonder, like trying to figure it out. It was rough.

JP:

It, it was, there was a lot of, a lot of work to keep, like you had to keep figuring out what you gotta do next and try to remember to steer on top of all that. It was a, it was a pain for me.

Justin and Alec:

I also feel like the amount of time we waited for it was I, it was like an hour and a half

JP:

Yeah. No,

Ash:

Committed.

JP:

that was way, too long. Yeah, that was a

Justin and Alec:

shorter than when we waited for Minecraft Madness. That was two and a Yeah. for the Donkey Kong ride. We waited two, we waited two and a half

Ash:

Did you rope drop to there first

JP:

or did it just keep breaking?

Justin and Alec:

no, we were, so we rope drop and went to Dark

Ash:

mm.

Justin and Alec:

then automatic but it was, they didn't even have it open. So we like waited around

Ash:

Yeah.

Justin and Alec:

our main plan was to start there and then do other parts of the. So we, we should have had a plan B, but we did, yeah, we didn't have a

Ash:

Yeah, you gotta get, you needed a Ashley is what you needed. you gotta get

JP:

an autistic planner with

Justin and Alec:

so we did, after we like looked around in that area, we

JP:

Mm-hmm.

Justin and Alec:

after that the Ministry area and we looked around, they didn't have the, that ride shop that was and the lady was to us. I was like, I don't know what you're saying, but you look cool.

JP:

Oh, that was one area we, we, that we skipped the Ministry of Magic or that, the, the wizarding world over there. But did was it was a very immersive experience that you, have you been to the other Wizarding worlds

Justin and Alec:

Yes, yes.

JP:

and how did it compare?

Justin and Alec:

I definitely feel like they did a, an upgrade. Yeah. It areas. there was more area did not do the circus show. Yeah. We as many ride as but I feel like that area on a scale of because I didn't, get to see like the main attraction, which was the ride.

JP:

What was that January? Are you guys able to hear? January.

Justin and Alec:

we're only, we can only hear

Ash:

Oh, sad.

Justin and Alec:

you guys, that's gonna be like a sexy man. I'm a sexy

USB:

That's actually

Justin and Alec:

That's gonna be like, calm down, keep it in your

Ash:

I don't think they can hear them. She was asking. You guys are, but you can hear them right or no? Okay. Oh, they can't hear you. Sad. Was asking how many rides did you guys end up logging on your trip? So you mentioned Stardust

Justin and Alec:

got, I got it tallied

Ash:

Oh, you've got notes.

Justin and Alec:

Yeah, I definitely had to do notes on it's like 3, 5, 5, 5 out of

Ash:

It's like 13 I think.

Justin and Alec:

out of the 12, five out of the

JP:

Yeah. That's not bad at all. That's, that's pretty

Ash:

How. was the Toad Stool Cafe?

Justin and Alec:

I was surprised, like it wasn't your typical chicken nuggets and fries. They actually had real people food there. I got like sandwich. I like got spaghetti and meatballs.

Ash:

Oh, the one pounder.

Justin and Alec:

No, I thought about it. I really we were gonna do the werewolf, after that and I was getting that and

Ash:

that's fair.

USB:

I cannot.

Ash:

That's fair. We did not get to experience Toad Stool Cafe.

Justin and Alec:

it, it was really cute. Very interactive. Very they have like the lights kind of like changed. At one point the lights turned off and that was not a part of the show. That was not a part of

JP:

interesting. If there, will you go back?

Justin and Alec:

Definitely. Oh hell Like I, I need to, there's a couple, we need to do more rides in the How to Train Your Dragon over there.

Ash:

I definitely

Justin and Alec:

did one, we did the Racers Rally, which is basically the same thing as Cell Shell Shock in the Mall of America.

JP:

recommend.

Ash:

We didn't care for racer's.

Justin and Alec:

of my group. I was the one who was able to actually do a full, like 360

Ash:

figured it out.

Justin and Alec:

Yep. I figured it out.

Ash:

Good job.

Justin and Alec:

body was like, you're not doing I mean, they literally said it's gonna be an ab workout.

JP:

That's wild. That's wild. When's your next plan to come back?

Justin and Alec:

I wanna say my birthday in October, but there's a lot of things during that So is that It's to be determined October and dry erase marker, so that way the, the moved.

Ash:

I like that.

JP:

I love it. I love it. Well, we are super appreciative of, of y'all being our number one and number one fans,

JR:

two number ones,

JP:

our

Ash:

two,

JR:

woo.

JP:

two number ones. We're stoked on that and we, we appreciate you wholeheartedly and we can't wait to do a park day of some sort with

Ash:

Field

JP:

Yeah, we have to get to Dank, dank pod on location and we are. And we just wanna, we wanna give you the award for being our very first remote correspondence.

Ash:

here. Here.

Justin and Alec:

We are here

JP:

So

Justin and Alec:

and we, and we need a baby powder video.

Ash:

he's blushing. You guys, it's gonna new

JP:

tab. It'll be on the incognito tab. Have you seen the puts on cycling shorts? Video that I'm gonna text you later this evening just

Ash:

sorry in advance, fellas.

JP:

It'll tide you over until you get to the baby powder. Sling my legs up over my shoulders.

USB:

I cannot.

Ash:

poor January.

Justin and Alec:

Oh my God.

JP:

Well, thank,

JR:

your legs over.

JP:

thank you fellows. We appreciate it.

Ash:

Thank you. And I look forward

JP:

to many more conversations that we work out the technical bugs on.

Justin and Alec:

Okay.

JP:

All right.

Ash:

guys.

Justin and Alec:

You're welcome.

JR:

Stay Dan.

JP:

Stay Dan.

JR:

Stay Dan.

JP:

If anyone wants to reach out to us and give us their own opinions or their own experiences at the parks, feel free to email us at the dang pod@gmail.com and we're happy to listen to your experiences. And, and or, you know, any opinions you have about us in general, or if you wanna suggest any show topics, you can do that for us as well.

JR:

If you wanna see the baby powder video, let us know.

USB:

Ooh, yes. Let's put a pole on. Let's, let's, let's attach a

JR:

magic, a

USB:

pole to this one.

JR:

A pole to this,

USB:

a pole to this one? Yeah. You can, you can attach poles. I know you can you wanna see the baby powder demonstration, if you will. But we, but we have to, we have to, we have to have at least 50 yeses before, before they, they earn it.

JP:

I like that. I don't feel, I don't

USB:

You're welcome.

JP:

50 yeses, but if we get 50 yeses

USB:

then, and then I go out and create like 50 different accounts just to

JP:

that, that indeed would be epic. On that note, what are we talking about next weekend or next week? Was it?

USB:

you tell me

JP:

shit, she changed the Trello board already.

Ash:

Attack

JP:

universal food better than Disney food? That's what's coming up next. On next week's episode get ready for a very contentious

Ash:

a host takedown. It

JP:

is going, there's gonna be some hostilities coming out. Is,

JR:

feel like I don't eat at the park enough to know

USB:

I, it's not gonna.

JP:

too, but we eat there, we eat at the parks all the time. We

Ash:

did you eat last? at Disney.

JP:

What we ate at we ate at Disney Springs. No. What do we, we ate

JR:

Disney Springs does not count as,

JP:

it. Does remember we had,

JR:

no. Remember Disney. Disney only owns one place in Disney Springs.

Ash:

plus

JP:

5% was your ranking for that. So, Disney Springs definitely counts as being food there. Yeah. But we've had we've had a number of different restaurants at the Magic Kingdom. We've had less, less experiences at Hollywood. We've eaten our way across the

JR:

it for next

JP:

Yeah. Yeah. We'll argue it there. Write your list, do your homework, look at your credit card receipts, and then be prepared to compare it to Universal, the king of All Foods. Thank out

USB:

Thank God out cheater. He tried to

JR:

hide on the dango.

Nancy:

Thanks for tuning into another episode of the DANK pod. Remember to like, follow, subscribe, and share where ever you listen. Send your feedback and questions to us at the dank pod at gmail.com Join us next week when we debate which park system has the best food. Email us your opinions! Until next time, stay dank!