The DANK Pod - A Disney Adult Adventure

DANK Pod Episode 8

• Nat January Ash & JP • Season 1 • Episode 8

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JP:

me It's hot. It's hilly and it smells like

Ash:

It's

JP:

even sesame street is suing the fuck out of them They got like a 14 million dollar judgment

Bernard:

Welcome to"The DANK Pod," the podcast where four Disney Adults No Kids share their magical adventures! Join us as we explore the enchanting parks, savor Mickey-shaped treats, and ride Space Mountain without worrying about height restrictions. Disclaimer: This podcast is purely for entertainment purposes. We love kids, but sometimes we just want to ride the teacups without’em Thanks for tuning in, let’s get DANK!

JP:

on that note, January! Take a, take us to church. Oh, yeah. Was that like a P Diddy slash um, Chocolate Factory reference? Uh, what's his name?

Ash:

Ooh.

JP:

Sounds scary. Chocolate Factory. This is a hit, man. That's where I was talking about. That's right. Where are you? That's where I was talking about.

Ash:

So I have Fuck

JP:

Fuck you. Oh, shit. Um, so yeah, so the reason that I explained this to a lot of people when they asked me about,

Ash:

about, about,

JP:

about like the difference between Disney and other, other theme parks, the reason that I enjoy going to Disney is because of Mary Poppins, not the movie, the character. Yeah. When you go, when you go to universal studios and you see.

Ash:

let's say, let's say

JP:

Let's say, let's say Tom Holland is at Universal Studios in their, in their Marvel section. When you go into that place, everybody will line up and meet Tom Holland. Right? But when you go, you're never gonna just go there and meet Tom Holland playing, Spider Man. It's just, he's just Tom Holland. He's there for the, at the park for a day. Even if you go into, like, their Wizarding World and, you know, the late great Alan Rickman, if he was there, you'd just meet Alan Rickman. You wouldn't have met Snape. Um, but when you go to Disney, at no point are you ever going to bump into the person who, is it Julie Andrews, that who played? Uh, Mary Poppins. You would just meet, you would meet Mary Poppins. They would not break character. And that's the magic, is that you go there to meet the character and you can emote with that specific character and have whatever small or magnificent or magical moment with that particular character. So that's what. That's what takes me there. Also, I feel like we're, we were fucking fortunate to come up, um, in that Alan Menken era of music. And, uh, and so we have all these beautiful soundtracks to go along with, uh, the movies. And that anchors, that anchors you in joy. Um, a song can change your entire day.

Ash:

are gonna be that, the Aladdin soundtrack, Beauty and

JP:

let's see.

Ash:

soundtrack. It's

JP:

I think, you know, some of my favorite songs, uh, are going to be the Aladdin soundtrack, Beauty and the Beast soundtrack. It's just powerful, emotional, it hits good, it hits hard. Um, one of my favorite songs to tease people about is, uh, like the Lion King soundtrack. I have a friend who is like, the They love the Lion King, and they're like, I know all the words to the songs, and I'm just like, sing the first one.

Ash:

first one.

JP:

Just, let, just give me word for word the first song, and they're like, and it immediately, yeah, it just shuts people up right away. Yeah, yeah, they have no idea.

Ash:

Most don't,

JP:

Yeah. Pennsylvania, and Felicia's a girl. I mean. You don't, like, nobody knows what it means.

Ash:

It means it's a lion, like isn't that the

JP:

I'm a lion. You

Ash:

translate, I think the literal translation is it's a lion. The lion is coming. Yeah, it's just a different language, which is great.

JP:

Moana songs during,

Ash:

They are

JP:

they're in Hawaiian.

Ash:

know what,

JP:

know what, you know what, um,

Ash:

it's, it's, they do like,

JP:

Hawaiian or Samoan, I'm not sure what language it's in. Um, but it's, it's, there's a, they do like, um, well, like I forget, I forget their songs are not as ingrained in me as, as they could be, but they, they are definitely in, um, their native tongue. So, so yeah, but also I feel like, uh, Lin Manuel Miranda is the, is my niece's Alan, Alan Menken. Yeah,

Ash:

I

JP:

I think we,

Ash:

we,

JP:

correct, we, we've lost Natalie.

Ash:

Does Natalie know we lost her?

JP:

I don't know if Natalie knows we lost her. She's back. Uh, is she talking? Here we are. Hey Natalie. She's very unimpressed by this, this whole line of questioning.

Ash:

Oh! That's a fun time. It all went sideways.

JP:

Oh, that is so nice. I can't believe it. I'm so excited for you. No, that was my

Ash:

was his chipmunk. Yeah.

JP:

my goodness. Those

Ash:

I was just gonna say,

JP:

were bangers. OK. Yeah. Oh, the cave of wonders. Mm. A dime diamond in

Ash:

I think for me as a kid it was definitely the Little Mermaid. Like literally two years old I had the chicken pox. My parents loved to tell this story and Little Mermaid dropped right when I had chicken pox or whatever and so I instantly obsessed. My next one after that obsession like remembering as a child is probably Pocahontas.

JP:

I never really got into Pocahontas.

Ash:

I was her for Halloween one year.

JP:

I wish society would tell me if I should like Pocahontas or not. Yeah. I don't know if I'm supposed to, if it's, is it

Ash:

Is it mildly racist? I mean, I don't think Disney did a terrible job at the story. I think it was very, you know, glamorized, romanticized. As does Disney do.

JP:

you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Ash:

No, I cannot.

JP:

She is a good painter. Do you see this painting behind me?

Ash:

Oh

JP:

She made that she made Santa Claus behind me. Can you see it? Is it on camera?

Ash:

a little bit.

JP:

I

Ash:

I did.

JP:

that that's why I keep it up all year

Ash:

They, no no no, so they make the lines for you. You guys. It is.

JP:

dear. As you see, I don't know if you can see the detail. I'll take a picture of it and show you the detail. The wood paneling that she painted. I am so fucking impressed by this. This will stay up all year. All year around. I have others. I have another one over here. It's like a Christmassy tree thing. And then, I don't know where the other, like, Tree of Life one is. Oh, it's on this wall over here. She's got, man, The wood grain on this. The wood grain on this is, Fucking fire. She can, like, and she got her little AP in a corner here. She put her initials there, her initials. Hmm,

Ash:

think I can flip

JP:

she did a fantastic job. I'm so I'm so stoked with with her painting

Ash:

do the lines for you, you

JP:

you got to paint the strokes. Uh, I also feel like when, when it comes to, to Disney, I think, uh, you can recognize generational gaps with, um, by asking them to like with music as well. The theme song to the Mickey Mouse club. Uh, do you know what Natalie? Yeah. Have, have you heard, have you seen a new version of it? Natalie. Yeah, that's okay. It's on Disney plus. What you could do is yeah. Ask your nephew without influencing your nephew. Ask your nephew to sing the, sing the theme song to the Mickey Mouse clubhouse. It's going to go like this. M I C K E Y M O U S E.

Ash:

It's different, you don't

JP:

Yeah. You're going to be, you don't like, it's different. You don't like it. It's like ask, Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Ash:

with the ABCs. People are all a flutter

JP:

It's because people like kids were running around saying, what's your favorite letter? Oh, let me know. Yeah. I can't be doing that. My niece is the most selfish person with the alphabet known to known to man. She's like, you know how, what, how does it, how, what does the song, how does the song end? Now I know my ABCs next time. Won't you sing with me?

Ash:

sing

JP:

Okay. Don't sing with her though.

Ash:

with her

JP:

Stop, Nani, stop, I'm singing. Bitch, you just told me I could sing.

Ash:

That's why this is a no kids podcast sir, squirrel.

JP:

Sorry, my bad. I'm getting out of that space. Anyway, also feel stolen because like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and ABC's the same melody. A, B, C, D, little star. You didn't, Natalie just got her mind fucking blown. Ruined her childhood for life. What, um, where was I? Oh yeah. So there's a generational gap there with music. I feel like that gap translates to Alan Menken or Lin Manuel Miranda. Um, did you, so, it was, when I was a kid, it was a very special occasion to have like, um, and this is cyclical, so, the Disney channel, when I was a kid, you had to pay for the Disney channel, like it was a, uh, an add on channel,

Ash:

we waited

JP:

yeah, and we waited for months for the free trial, and then you watch this, it didn't matter what was on it, you just watched the shit out of it, like no fucks given, right? Not at all. Fuck that. You stay, that stays on 20 and you hope they forgot to turn it off. So you just, nobody mess with the TV. Don't mess with the TV. You change the channel. We'll never get Disney channel back. Right. Mouser sizing. Everything was in that shit. Um, and I just loved it. Um, the gummy bears bouncing here and there and everywhere. Right.

Ash:

Woo.

JP:

Oh yeah.

Ash:

Dead. Dead.

JP:

Take it to the half. wrong.

Ash:

We didn't watch her die.

JP:

we didn't watch her

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

die. Yeah, tell us, tell us. Tell me January. We were watching this series. Okay. Ooh. Is it the cartoon or the live action?

Ash:

surprising.

JP:

Okay, because there's a difference between the two. The live action that takes you down Uncanny Valley is just too real. I like how you're trying to steer me back into it. And you're trying to, are you thinking about killing your dad? I was just

Ash:

not the tangent, sir.

JP:

I wasn't sure. I thought we were coming back to it. No? Okay. Oh, I don't know if I'm calling it that. I don't know if I'm calling it the crown jewel. Mic, mic drop. Bro, she's in a bubble! You gonna tell me she's not a princess? Like one of those Varg? Acumens. Oh, holy shit. Nice. Nice. I think

Ash:

Disney has made. uh, an effort to address You know, some real world situations, like I know, um, before we started recording, we were talking a little bit about Inside Out, and there are actual teachers and programs and institutions that use that movie as a guide, you know, to teach individuals, not even just children, but individuals how to acknowledge and recognize different feelings, right? Because how do you explain that? to a four year old or a 42

JP:

All of a sudden I'm uncomfortable. We talking about

Ash:

Well, yeah, I mean, but

JP:

know what to do with my hands.

Ash:

I wasn't taught about my feelings and I'm fairly emotionally competent. You know what I mean? Like, I, as the firstborn daughter with her own family drama, trauma, whatever, right? I internalized a lot of that. Part of my autism is to recognize everyone else's feelings and adapt to that to avoid conflict. Right. So I mean, but like most places aren't teaching that, especially in today's world, right? Where books are banned and you know, a woman's body is not her own decision to

JP:

a decision. Um,

Ash:

so I,

JP:

I think movies like Lion King was

Ash:

cannot right now.

JP:

time, like

Ash:

so yeah, I think movies like Lion King was probably ahead of its time. Like you said, like we had not, children had not really seen death. in a profound way, in a safe but profound way before without it being traumatic. Like I had not, I'm very fortunate. I still have all my grandparents, right? So my first real situation with death was very much Mufasa and that emotional tie as a child. And I would have been young.

JP:

have been young. Fuck them. Um, cats are killers. Uh, speaking of like some throwbacks though, we have, uh, did you see that Disney is re releasing nightmare before Christmas in theaters

Ash:

Do you guys like Nightmare Before Christmas?

JP:

Yeah, I, I think it's, and I'd like to try to see, I do. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a, it's a, it's, I'm not sure how to classify it as Halloween or Christmas. So,

Ash:

Like Die Hard?

JP:

uh, yeah.

Ash:

It's a lifestyle.

JP:

it is, and like, watching the micro She was like, For every Halloween, she has a Halloween party. Huge thing, she takes the day before, the day of, and the day after. Like, I did something, it could be the whole week, but I could be wrong. But for sure, those three

Ash:

an event.

JP:

said, on, after, after, actually watch She, her and her children watch at May 4th every day, so that's like, the transition from Halloween into Christmas, I feel like, and I thought that was really cool. No, Thanksgiving. The thing about it

Ash:

No Thanksgiving.

JP:

takes place on November 1st. Right. That's why they watch it on November 1st. Oh, that's a good call. That's actually a really valid

Ash:

That's actually a really valid point.

JP:

you. Yeah, well done, well done. It wraps up Halloween, right? Yeah.

Ash:

I mean, it wraps up Halloween, right? And that's when Jack's all, like, burnt out and

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

That's entirely fair.

JP:

I'm looking to, I like it, I like it. Well, well, well donate.

Ash:

That's one of his

JP:

That's one of my favorite things to fall asleep to. Yeah. But they, they definitely credit it to them. It's in, I would like to do some claymation stuff. But I don't have enough patience for that ship.

Ash:

Or space, no. No.

JP:

would like to get into some

Ash:

No. Foot down. No more

JP:

Legos! Oh, you're gonna have to Yeah, that's what I need to do Ashley. Ashley's giving me a look. You just fucked it up for me. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it offline. Um, one of my other hobbies that I have, um, is right behind me. Uh, this is some of them. I like to collect the pins. Uh, and I'd like to engage you in collecting them too. I know that, uh, beginning a collection is dangerous for many people. Um, Um, so,

Ash:

He doesn't even like people. I don't

JP:

no, I, so I like to trade with the spectrum, you folk. Um, and you know, I think it's just fun to be able to, to hang out with them on occasion. And you know, here's, here's a pin, which you got. Um, plus it makes people happy. If you have something that somebody wants, It makes them happy to trade it away. So, uh, yeah, you can give me dollars to get right in my pants. Um,

Ash:

I mean you can buy like sacks of pins on eBay for like 20

JP:

but they have to be authentic Disney pins to be traded. So there's a lot of fakes out there. You got to be careful with that. I like the bomb. Dare tells. Yeah, it's huge. Well, there's, um, There's a few different tells for it, like the quality of the enamel, the patterns that exist on the back and how they're replicated. They don't always line up. Um, you have to get your pins authenticated. See, he won't trade that away for anything. That means

Ash:

That means

JP:

one pin at a time. All the more reason you should buy a throwaway collection to trade away and trade your way into pins that you value. You can do

Ash:

pins that you value. You can do What's a Well,

JP:

what to.

Ash:

could do that.

JP:

Yeah. Well, yeah, you could do that. You could do a, these are important pieces here to me. So, you know, there's a variety. So. Yeah. So sometimes you can, so you can display them in one simple way, um, and then establish some traders.

Ash:

that. Um, there are some unique pin trading events that will be coming up. Y'all keep your posts

JP:

Okay. Good.

Ash:

to them, hand in hand.

JP:

I like it. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Um, there are some unique pin trading events that will be coming up that I'll keep you posted. We'll go to them hand in hand. Uh, I'm wearing you down. I'll rope you into it. Um,

Ash:

and Maybe this holiday, if you get me one, I'll think about it. Done.

JP:

done. You don't even know what you just

Ash:

Challenge accepted,

JP:

yeah. Yo, she became a pin trader today. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. January Rain will be at the parks throughout the holiday season, ready to trade for your pins. Pack them up, load them on, and stick it to her.

Ash:

Already

JP:

Uh, I'm sorry, ma'am, she's already accepted. She's already accepted. No, no, if I gift it to you, it's an acceptance. Yeah, are you gonna tell me no on my birthday? Are you gonna tell me no on my birthday? This could be my gift to, from you to me. Pins. Thank you. That's, yes, I'd like to buy the London Bridge too, since you're, if you can throw that in there. Um, so we, I think we should talk about, um, the, the one marquee event that's happening all week and weekend. Uh, by the time this podcast gets published, it should be in all of its full fury. Um, Ashley, tell us about Hurricane Helene. Hurricane

Ash:

a whole ass hurricane happening out there, you guys. Um, I'm curious as to like how it's impacting y'all, um, but I think the announcements were made today, Wednesday, September 25th, that the. Parks are closed tomorrow, if I'm not mistaken. And I'm not sure that they've ever done it for a tropical storm warning before. Um,

JP:

operating under normal conditions. However, some experiences may be canceled or unavailable

Ash:

Oh, okay. I thought I had read that they shut

JP:

continuing to monitor, you know, the normal things, uh, Typhoon Lagoon, um, is temporary closed, temporarily closed. Blizzard Beach is currently closed for the season. We discussed that a few weeks ago. Um, uh, Beach Comer Shack. And Typhoon Lagoon umbrella rentals are canceled for Thursday. Mickey's not so scary Halloween party due to forecasted weather and the impact of our outdoor entertainment offerings. So canceling at mini golf and not mini as in the mouse, but

Ash:

The water parks are closed.

JP:

Pools at resorts are going to continue to operate or close under normal conditions. Um, yeah, so I think, what's that, when this storm hits, I think it's going to hit in the big, what we call a big bend area of Florida, which is like the Gulf, upper north, lower Alabama, Gulf Coast area. Um, what's it, what's it supposed to hit at? What category is it supposed to

Ash:

Gulf Coast area. Um, what's it, what's it supposed to hit at?

JP:

they are saying it could

Ash:

Natalie's like, hurricane party!

JP:

Cat 4

Ash:

Three is when, three is when you start taking it

JP:

when, 3 is when you start taking it seriously. That's fair.

Ash:

I would say three.

JP:

That

Ash:

We were fighting,

JP:

a 1.75

Ash:

were fighting about this before. So Jonathan's been in Florida for a very long time, don't get me wrong. But,

JP:

a very long time

Ash:

Just after the catastrophe that really was 2004 and 2005 for the southern east coast.

JP:

When I moved here, there were a lot of tarps on

Ash:

Yeah, like we were recovering. So like two thousand

JP:

that why you did the part-Time Roofing back,

Ash:

Back then? That's

JP:

I'm sorry, ma'am. I was going to say like, what kind of, that's racist. Um,

Ash:

That

JP:

that was a landscape. I'm Puerto Rican. Get it straight. Um,

Ash:

was a big hurricane year for both coasts of Florida. Like one straight up landed on the west coast, cut across, um, in like a northeast, east, northeast direction. Like it wasn't supposed to.

JP:

a couple of bobbers

Ash:

yeah, and then in 2005, which was when I had graduated high school and started college, we had three that were pretty much, you know, back to back to back. It was Katrina, Irma,

JP:

Ian, Wilma. Wilma.

Ash:

and then Wilma. Wilma happened, but like Wilma was like two to four weeks after Katrina, which was much stronger than it was anticipated to be when it hit Florida.

JP:

like January was probably in that mix down south too,

Ash:

Were you down here then? Mm hmm.

JP:

Hmm.

Ash:

Yeah. You couldn't get gas for like two weeks. You couldn't get gas. You couldn't find water. There were lines for gallons of water and ice. For Katrina, right? And the blessing for Katrina was that we got a cold front.

JP:

No AC. You had so many of them? Or did it give you the runs? I like how we're glossing over diarrhea.

Ash:

Couldn't

JP:

Oh, and you, you came up the top or out the bottom? Holy

Ash:

had a bad batch. There's a flavor. There's a taste. Yeah.

JP:

know. So you've never had another chip since? Thanks. Does she, not the barbecue lays? It's not worth it. Natalie, tell me, do you try to give her barbecue lays on occasion? Do you try to get like, you're like, Hey, we want these, you want these barbecue ruffles and she's like, yeah, I'll take those and you slip a lay in. Not

Ash:

We just found out why.

JP:

we know why has she even, this is how we learn about relationships. This is relationship building folks. Um, if you're not sure about what your next step in the relationship is, It's this, right now. Talk about your barbeque lay moments. Yes, that's right! Did you get the invitation to their wedding, Ashley? I didn't. To

Ash:

To be fair,

JP:

fair

Ash:

I was going to say, to be fair, we were only in this friendship relationship for a few months when you guys got married, like a whole month, like a, like a whole month,

JP:

like I had to stalk the fuck out of them.

Ash:

like a whole month.

JP:

To get info on their wedding. It was definitely,

Ash:

The wedding was in

JP:

definitely, we were hiding some shit. Yeah.

Ash:

Yeah. So solidly less than six weeks of

JP:

came in, they were like, hey, Natalie was like, let me put my friendship in you. And I was like, alright,

Ash:

do you have to make it weird?

JP:

It's supposed to be, it can be

Ash:

such a

JP:

Natalie made it weird on day two of our relationship by calling me to see how I was doing to check in. Above and beyond. Natalie, you go O. T. T. All day. Every day. I appreciate that. That's what I appreciate about you, Natalie. That's why I've glommed on to you.

Ash:

So, fat ass hurricane in the Gulf, guys. Everybody be careful. Y'all are inland, so it

JP:

Are you boating in the gulf? Anyone boating in the gulf this weekend?

Ash:

I mean, no. Tell them no. They're

JP:

Damn.

Ash:

not evacuating? I know people, like, within our company that have started evacuating. Mm hmm. Okay.

JP:

What the fuck?!

Ash:

You know, I

JP:

It's okay to bring them inside, Teller!

Ash:

no, no. I saw on the socials.

JP:

It's like a weather

Ash:

socials that they're doing it from the ceiling now, like raising the furniture off the ground, like with bungees or whatever.

JP:

so stupid in my life. This

Ash:

yeah, in like the Tampa Bay area.

JP:

I Damn. Damn.

Ash:

Don't call

JP:

like a

Ash:

You're not dealing

JP:

a living room you got going on there. That's, oh, that'd be a rad ass way to play The Floor is Lava. January just put two and two together. In her head, we're now swinging like,

Ash:

trapeze

JP:

from a trapeze in the living room.

Ash:

room. This is terrible.

JP:

This is terrible. The worst part would be like, if you were on the second floor of an apartment and still doing it, like, you're like a fucking idiot.

Ash:

idiot. I'm sorry,

JP:

I'm sorry. I just, I will. Oh my goodness. Um, Ashley's looking at me. Like the people, to me, the people who are bungee cording their furniture from the ceiling are the same as the people who are duct taping their windows and, uh, like trying to put like ratchet straps, straps across their roofs.

Ash:

yeah, not not yeah, the duct tape X,

JP:

the duct tape X and the bubble wrap, um, I'm just like, I'm saying, I'm, I talked about it a little bit earlier today. I'm glad that I don't have to put up the hurricane shutters, um, over here this week. Uh, we, they would be fairly easy, but we've spent the past few years with hurricane, uh, approved glass in our unit. And now we live in a residence that does not have hurricane glass. So. Um, but yeah, they'll just replace it, but now I'm just like, I have to go around the house and put up all the shutters. Thankfully there's only one floor. It's a ranch home, but like it's tough to do that. That's mildly annoying. So. Did they? Did they tell us to put them up? Meh, I'm not going to put them up. Um, alright, um, So, if you're going to the parks this weekend, It's going to be

Ash:

be wet.

JP:

be wet. You can probably, The day after the hurricane hits, gorgeous. Yeah, if you go to the parks, that's the day to go. That's the inside secret. The issue is, I think the day after is going to be Saturday. So, whoever's going on Saturday is going to have a really fucking rad time. Um, so, send our positive vibes to the people just north of the

Ash:

I mean friday it looks like it's gonna be past tallahassee by friday night

JP:

In the dirty side of the storm, depending on those rain

Ash:

Yeah, it just depends on how how big she grows in the gulf because she's just kind of getting past the island stuff now

JP:

Just whipping through. Um

Ash:

nailed Cancun. Time

JP:

to go out and try to

Ash:

to bounce,

JP:

get out of there. Don't try to go see what's out there. That water comes back in a hurry. You're not gonna make it. Um, think, uh, Titanic, um, submarine vibes with

Ash:

Tsunamis,

JP:

Um, now let's just, don't be out there. I'm not trying to

Ash:

Follow the bubbles.

JP:

um, if you are a, uh, if you're a parent of a child who takes that advice, uh, please direct your legal requests to

Ash:

this is a no kids podcast, guys.

JP:

oh, don't, don't, yeah. Oh,

Ash:

an hour winds. That's a cat four. But that's like center, like Gulf of Mexico water. It's hot as fuck out there.

JP:

Yeah. You know what else? Um, when we talk about things that are, um, cyclonic, Um, Cyclonic, you're gonna love this transition. Things that are cyclonic would be, uh, The Wizard of Oz, uh, had tornadic activity, um, and I hear there's a new experience. Ashley, would you be so kind

Ash:

now going outside of the berm?

JP:

Take us outside the burn. I

Ash:

know that's where we were going. Yeah, so I um, The, you know there's a new movie coming out in the fall, Wicked. Wicked. I don't know if we've talked about Wicked on this podcast before, um, but the Universal Studios is opening a space, like an experience space, um, that will be very Wicked, um, immersive. And yeah, we, I was surprised to see it too. Um, so yeah, it's gonna be like, Like, uh, props from the movie, photo ops, like all new merchandise. It's like a, it's a space to go in and like immerse in, you know, a lot of that world. Um, I, is it in the Hello Kitty shop?

JP:

Kitty shop? Yeah, they

Ash:

So they shut down the Hello Kitty shop at, on the universal side of universal studios. And I guess they're revamping it to be this wicked experience. Um,

JP:

at doing like immersive. Um, I think, is it in the Hello Kitty shop

Ash:

um, Universal's really good at doing like immersive things so that when you visit, you kind of feel very much part of that world. I think Disney is very good about it with the characters, but I think when it comes to like scenery and experience, Universal does it a little better for

JP:

scenery and experience, Universal does it a little better. Uh, it

Ash:

do some special

JP:

it's starting in

Ash:

Uh, it looks like it's starting in late October. I don't know if there's an actual date yet. I haven't seen anything new in about a week.

JP:

I think on City

Ash:

think, too, on City Walk, they're having like a, like a section of a store or something will have some of the items so that people who can't get in the park can still have the experience.

JP:

people who can't get in the park can still have the experience. Elphaba, um, first cross paths. So there's a, there takes it back to their alma mater. Um, some, some wicked inspired, uh, graphics and prints on some other collectibles across the way. And, you know, it just, I think it is

Ash:

I didn't know it was Shiz University. That's funny.

JP:

you, the shiz, um, I think November, uh, November 22nd is when it's scheduled to be released. Yeah. So there's a good lead up to that. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I also think we have, um, some come market rivals offerings, you know, they, because everybody spends their money at the other parks.

Ash:

I did a really good job you guys. I have outside the berm things that are not universal again So I did happen to find in passing that SeaWorld is running a couple of promos and I don't I feel like SeaWorld's mildly controversial I

JP:

has a soft spot for SeaWorld.

Ash:

have mixed feelings about

JP:

a baby. She was just a bait. She was a

Ash:

I don't judge. This is not, this is a judge free zone. Yeah.

JP:

Natalie, tell us about your time spent harboring and killing whales. Actually, he's giving me the stare down. Oh, sorry. My bad.

Ash:

So anyway, there are a couple of promotions running with SeaWorld right now if, uh, that's your jam. There, and this isn't listed on the, on the card. He's going to be mad, but there's a fun card happening. So it's unlimited visits for the rest of 2024 and 2025. Um, so that's a whole thing, but there's also, uh, a limited time offer. Two days at two parks for less than 50 a day. And then I think what I do have listed on here, um, was like a buy one, get one half off ticket, which I don't see on the website anymore. So maybe it ended. So,

JP:

maybe it ended. And the savings is only

Ash:

It's and the savings is only three dollars.

JP:

Are you serious? Yeah, so like if

Ash:

I mean,

JP:

Annual Pass Hold on, let me just make sure I'm getting this straight.

Ash:

what it looks

JP:

SeaWorld for the rest of 2024 for the last quarter of 2024 and the entirety of 2025 saying that that whole thing is just 135? Is that what I'm reading?

Ash:

what I'm reading. I mean, if you scroll down, if you scroll down to the annual passes, I mean, a silver passes 189. And a gold pass. Five free guest tickets. SeaWorld does guest tickets? Whoa.

JP:

This is wild

Ash:

a reason why. And it's because they suck.

JP:

me It's hot. It's hilly and it smells like

Ash:

It's

JP:

even sesame street is suing the fuck out of them They got like a 14 million dollar judgment

Ash:

I hear really good things about their Halloween events and a lot of like the Halloween people will bounce back and forth between like Universal Disney and SeaWorld just for the Halloween

JP:

not me, I'm out.

Ash:

Um, hollow scream, I think is what they call it.

JP:

Yeah. Yeah.

Ash:

So I mean, it definitely seems to be a lot of bang for the buck at SeaWorld. I don't think it's something that we're interested in. Primarily, well, and less crowded. Well, the day we went it was very crowded, but it was just so damn hot and there was nowhere to cool off. Like the stores were hot. There was no shade. It was hilly. So like

JP:

meal package was good though. For oddly enough, the meal package was super inclusive, super easy to use. You just go in and get food. So I was

Ash:

are you saying because I paid?

JP:

no, no, no,

Ash:

What was the meal package?

JP:

could buy like an eat all day package.

Ash:

did we do

JP:

yeah,

Ash:

Oh, I don't

JP:

What's the bush garden one. Yeah.

Ash:

Um, No, so no, not even. So Bush Gardens is actually opening up a new experience. Um, so 2025 is their most wild year yet. It says introducing the all new wild oasis realm, North America's most engaging and interactive adventure realm, which will be opening in the spring of 2025, uh, located within the jungala area of the park. Wild oasis is designed to ignite the imagination, engage all the senses. Promising non stop excitement for every member of the family. So they're definitely saying that it's going to be like kid inclusive because I know Busch Gardens is a little bit more rollercoaster y. Um, Captivated by the sight and sounds of the rainforest, the rush of a newly reimagined drop tower featuring state of the art digital and sound effects, uh, interactive water play wonderland. with a multi level climbing canopy. Plus there will even be some new feathered and furry friends located in the new multi species animal habitat.

JP:

let the mice out of the traps.

Ash:

Yeah, so I think often too SeaWorld will do deals with um, bush gardens like in concert. So sometimes like I've seen like the end of the year deal where they'll say you know unlimited visits to either park for x amount

JP:

Which is nice.

Ash:

Which is, again, if that's, that's your jam. Cause I think from SeaWorld to Busch Gardens, what, it's only a few hours.

JP:

few hours? Oh, yeah, it's like Tampa,

Ash:

Yeah. So that's not terrible. So I thought that was fun that, you know, Busch Gardens is announcing like a new area that is family inclusive, especially with those with littles.

JP:

littles. Yeah. And then, tidying up in our, outside the berm, we have the After Hours event at Universal. Yeah. So Huge fan of the After Hours event.

Ash:

It's pricey though.

JP:

I would like to rope you guys into it sometime. Um, the Orlando Informer meetup unlimited food menu. So, besides all the restaurants, uh, they have, they have vegetarian, vegan, um, gluten sensitive, dairy sensitive, soy protein, like all sorts of different sensitivities in there. Um, new for 2024, uh, they've got what's called check in bites

Ash:

Oh, they're doing the catering again?

JP:

they're doing a combination of both. So, they'll have little catering stations that are set up. Outside of the restaurants and then you have, um, then you'll also have their regular restaurants, uh, in the mix too. So real quick, uh, the Informer meetups are an after hours separately ticketed event. Um, they can be a little pricey, excess of 200, but you have reduced capacity, both parks, and all you can eat food and drink. Um, alcohol is not included, but all the food is, and you can totally load up

Ash:

Basically, if the restaurant or the stand is open, then the food is included, the food and drink there is included as long as it's not alcoholic.

JP:

food and the lunch. You're paying, yeah. Yeah, I mean you can go to every stop and just get whatever you want. You've

Ash:

Except you're not paying for the food and wine. Yeah. Right. Right.

JP:

now are going to be like the Holiday Mac and Cheese, Turkey Pot Pie. There's also a vegan option. Better? A hundred percent. Thousand percent. Tomato basil soup. Harvest butternut squash. Um, they have warm tortilla chips, just, you know, serve, serve with salsa and queso. So those are, that's close. Uh, they are also serving a traditional hot dog cart for you. I know how Natalie likes her hot dogs. Correct. It is arguably in America. Um, then you also have Butler Past Appetizer.

Ash:

winter rice?

JP:

I don't, it's rice in the winter, cashew chicken, spring rolls, a warm pretzel. And then, um,

Ash:

just the basic pretzel, but a warm one,

JP:

And then desserts, uh, assorted holiday cookies, assorted sodas, bottled water, et cetera.

Ash:

other

JP:

Yeah. On the other side, uh, port of entry, you've got your normal stuff. You've got Cinnabon, Lemon Slush, Blackwater Bar, um, Seuss Landing. All those restaurants are open. Sometimes they open and close certain restaurants, green eggs and ham. Fun time if you've never been there. Um, so get over there, try out that. I also, we also have always enjoyed, um, the, uh, Wimpy's Wimpy's burgers

Ash:

is top tier.

JP:

tier, especially if you like a good, um, meatless burger. Um,

Ash:

just like it? Mm hmm. Yeah. I know how. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

JP:

yeah, yeah. I know how I, yeah. Well, I accept, I think it's like a fake meat. But I don't know who's making it. Yeah, yeah, I know how you like it. It's one of my favorites. I don't think it's a black bean burger, but I mean, it could be. I

Ash:

think it was.

JP:

I don't not entirely. I'm not 100 percent on it, but it was a very it was one of my favorite burgers to have without having like 100 percent meat in that in that patty. So Ashley and I are going out there when the 10th,

Ash:

No, it's like the 6th.

JP:

the 6th of December, which will be fun for us.

Ash:

Or the 7th, I think

JP:

Something, yeah, something like that. We try to go to the December ones every

Ash:

We like the holiday stuff. It's just really immersive, um, and really pretty. And I think a couple of times we've gotten, like, really good chilly weather. Which is nice because you get to wear sweaters and bundle

JP:

like to buy an ornament, a Christmas

Ash:

We do like Christmas ornaments, but the food is definitely exciting and it's pretty top tier actually looking at the list It looks like that catering stuff is where you check in

JP:

in. Oh, yes, they do have check in bites. So that's something unique. Like, you know how when you check into, um, Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, like, you can go at 4 o'clock and everybody lines up at the gates and you get in? For this, you can still have access to the park, I think, starting at like around 4 o'clock, but you have to check in through a separate entrance.

Ash:

They give you a wristband so that you know, you're important

JP:

then, Exactly. And then you get, um, they used to give you, like, gift cards. For the, they give you like a

Ash:

it's unclear if they're doing it

JP:

it looks like they're just having, they're going to feed you in line at the check in, which is a very polite thing.

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

I mean, I'll tell you what I think for if this, if this night is like two to two 50 for both parks, um, I don't really feel like inflation hit it, you know,

Ash:

I mean, it's definitely a price increase from previous years. Um, but we have never been disappointed by the Informer meetups. And so, I mean, it's probably hitting a number that's gonna make me uncomfortable in a couple of years. Um,

JP:

going to have to get raises. Right.

Ash:

We need big girl jobs.

JP:

kissing ass.

Ash:

Natalie perked up.

JP:

But I

Ash:

But I mean, if you're paying, what, a hundred to a hundred and fifty bucks for like, Jollywood or Mickey's Very Merry, yeah, and then the, but I was going to say the food you have to pay for in addition,

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

then this is probably on par,

JP:

Yeah. There's limited experience. There might be like little treats and bottles

Ash:

And it runs until like midnight or one o'clock. So you can be there and eat the whole damn time.

JP:

get on rides pretty rapidly. They do it, um, periodically throughout the year. Like, they'll do a summer meetup and then a winter meetup. Um, do they do a spring meetup too?

Ash:

they're starting to do it far more frequently. So I think this year they had it in like February, again in like July, which is crazy. I would never do July. But like again in August and then again in November and December, which are considered the holiday ones. We've always gone in December. Um, Better weather. Yeah.

JP:

Good stuff. Highly recommended.

Ash:

Well also you used to race in November, so I don't think we're available.

JP:

so also like if you're not sure about wanting to do, um, Um, universal. This is a fantastic way to blow your money on universal without having to go all in. Like you can get a whole bunch of experience. If I was a family vacationing, this would be the event. I wouldn't even buy tickets to the

Ash:

And they do it. The, the universal people and the non universal people will buy for the entire weekend. So like Friday night, Saturday night, or before they've done like Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And they, You get all the

JP:

And you get all the attractions too. Um.

Ash:

No, not

JP:

they, they, they

Ash:

Unless something's like down for refurbishment.

JP:

If you had to do, um, there's a ride at universal that is children only. You, they will even open a lottery for adults, full

Ash:

know what's not on here? The Minion Cafe. And I'm a little sad about it.

JP:

Um, I would like to figure out if Natalie, Before we lose her, has anything that she would like answered rapidly?

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

What's that? I've not heard that. That's

Ash:

That's when you don't need a reservation.

JP:

we in good to go days? That's when you don't have to make the reservation.

Ash:

Yeah, it's when you don't have to make the reservation. Yeah, I'm indifferent, honestly, but I think that I think the good to go days are confusing for some people. Like, it's hard to get into the habit of doing something and be like, what do you mean I don't need a reservation? Like, I think the fear for me would be to roll up and be like, No, no, thanks.

JP:

I

Ash:

What do you mean? Like, that would be I would know I like reservations. I like being able to confirm that I've done something you know what I mean? Like, I'm locked in. I want my wristband, like.

JP:

end, like. Nice, nice. That's a good question.

Ash:

I want to know what Jonathan's gonna be.

JP:

no. January

Ash:

January's

JP:

January's got her hand up. Go, go,

Ash:

go, go.

JP:

go. Hit me with your best shot. Solid

Ash:

Solid answer.

JP:

answer. That was a good answer. Follow up. Mm-Hmm? Mm-Hmm. Just

Ash:

She's just a girl.

JP:

Mm. I catch you. Pick it up. What you're putting down.

Ash:

That was deep.

JP:

That was deep. Very deep.

Ash:

Good answer. Good answer. Well done, ma'am.

JP:

Ooh, I'm torn. I got two. You got two? I got two. All right. Natalie, buckle up. Number one villain. Peter Pan. Mhm. Angel of Death. Angel of Death out there stealing kids, taking their souls to Neverland. Um, that's the reason those kids don't grow up, right? So that's, uh, but he's

Ash:

Provo. That's uh,

JP:

He's a, he's a villain. Um,

Ash:

Arguably.

JP:

a villain. So, uh, but he has a good time doing it. He's fucking flying. You kidding me? And he gets a girl. Fuck outta here. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, uh, Wendy. Wendy, darling. It's a good time. He ends up going back too. Didn't you see Hook? Come on. Get at me, dog. Bangarang! Motherfaggot. Um, uh, and then the other one I would do is, uh, Hades. Hades? Hades, I feel like Hades is, Hades is also fighting the good fight from the perspective of like, you know, saving the world from Zeus.

Ash:

Zeus is not a good guy.

JP:

No, Zeus is a dick. And Hades is like, you know, hey, I'm here. Cause Zeus was, um, yeah, Zeus is just trying to, Make babies all over the world. Hades is just like I'm doing all your dead shit down here. I'm just trying to get out Why do you got me underground? This is garbage. You know, we didn't see in that movie that we probably should have seen Poseidon Why wasn't Poseidon hanging out in that one?

Ash:

I mean, he was in the movie.

JP:

He was

Ash:

Yeah, he just wasn't a main character.

JP:

Okay, yeah, um Yeah, yeah ash what do you got on this who you got in your who's your who's your valine You

Ash:

You guys had such good

JP:

good ones. I'm a little upset.

Ash:

I don't,

JP:

don't mean well. I think I'd like to meet Ursula. I wanna, cause

Ash:

which one would

JP:

pissed me off

Ash:

I think I'd like to be Ursula.

JP:

wrong,

Ash:

want to, because if someone pissed me off and did me wrong, I want to turn them into an icky little squid too.

JP:

That's very He was also out. I thought about Jafar. Jafar was a close He was on the podium. But I

Ash:

on the podium.

JP:

He was fucking outsmarted. That's the reason I didn't, cause he was

Ash:

By a parrot.

JP:

he, nah, he was outsmarted by, um, by a street

Ash:

But I do like the Hades answer.

JP:

Scoundrel, street rat, I don't buy that, if only they'd look closer! We're gonna get copyright infringement. Um,

Ash:

Or Taka. Cause that

JP:

Oh, Tematoa!

Ash:

Temetowa would be a fun

JP:

Oh, from um, yeah,

Ash:

Tematoa, I would like

JP:

Same movie, Moana. Uh, yeah. So shiny!

Ash:

can I change it to Tematoa? I would just like to collect the shiny pretty

JP:

that's my favorite line in that movie. I would sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck. Just a sec. I'm a decapod. Look it up. What? Fuck outta here. That dude was baller. Oh, you've covered the stone in

Ash:

He's not even on the villain list, by the way. Like, you gotta dig deep

JP:

got him behind me on my wall.

Ash:

He's a fun villain. Is he even really a villain? I feel like

JP:

Shit. Oh yeah, he's gorgeous.

Ash:

a hamstring, bro.

JP:

Let me pull this up to the camera. Hold

Ash:

Yeah, you are really far back from the camera. Timotowa. Yeah, that's not a great picture. Maleficent! Maleficent's a cool answer because she turns into a dragon.

JP:

yeah. I

Ash:

I'd like to be a

JP:

have her dragon pin here.

Ash:

Yeah.

JP:

Who you got? Yeah. Like a, like a crab

Ash:

a very thoughtful answer, January.

JP:

Well,

Ash:

So thoughtful.

JP:

thoughtful. Um,

Ash:

Good answers.

JP:

what do you got Natalie? What do you got for us? Which Villain you going to be? Yeah, it's yeah, you're that you're we've saved the best for last so intense Mmm fish fish are friends Yeah one is admitting you're powerless over your addiction Uh, Ash, grab a little boo.

Ash:

Which

JP:

Show them the cat's ass. They haven't seen our cat's

Ash:

they haven't seen it?

JP:

seen cat's ass. Natalie, keep going though. Tell me about, um, Bruce. Have you visited live action Bruce at Universal Studios?

Ash:

That's not his name

JP:

That's what we call him. Yeah.

Ash:

I got my first popcorn bucket, you guys. Can you see? Oh, that's too close.

JP:

it back. Hold it back. Yeah. There you go. You're in it now. You got it. Pop is top. Pop is top. Ooh, ooh. Turn. Turn it on. Turn on the bottom. Oh, he lights up. Oh, yeah. Turn the, I I should turn the lights off. Oh, wait, you're closer. Oh, let me,

Ash:

Yeah. They're really good.

JP:

the bottom, it's at the bottom

Ash:

So it's at the bottom. Cat ass. So you know

JP:

it on the wall behind me?

Ash:

the bottom? So cats, uh, so it looks like a cat's asshole. pumpkin nub on the bottom. you, um. Yeah, it

JP:

Yeah, it shines out of his cat, out of the cat's ass.

Ash:

cute? You know how many

JP:

Like, you know how many people bought that? How many people bought that popcorn bucket and didn't realize that it had a cat's ass projector going out of the bottom.

Ash:

it glows like a jack o lantern. They're,

JP:

Little boo,

Ash:

yeah, so at the, at the bottom you can turn left and it's just the jack o lantern little boo, but if you turn right, it's both and then that's where you get the projection at the bottom.

JP:

Cat's Ass!

Ash:

And it actually does say it on the bottom, no, it says LED on the left and then it says proj on the right.

JP:

would have been better if it said Cat's Ass, I'm not gonna lie.

Ash:

I don't

JP:

If you would have been like, holy shit, it says Cat's Ass! It's coming out, what's this, what's this light coming out of Cat's Ass? This is insane. That's insane. There's a

Ash:

my little boo expansion, my little boo obsession has expanded.

JP:

it's a, you know, I'm not gonna lie, I would wear that as a purse.

Ash:

I mean it was nice and it comes with like this nice strap you guys, um,

JP:

Quality strap. Says Halloween

Ash:

a lanyard and it was nice and long.

JP:

On.

Ash:

That

JP:

That was for Alec. That was for Alec. He got it. Yeah, you're gonna have to tune in and listen to it in post. Yeah.

Ash:

and we were pleasantly surprised. And the first, when you buy it, the popcorn, the first popcorn is free and I think the refills were like two bucks or

JP:

Oh yeah, and you can probably just, you can, Yeah, it was worth it.

Ash:

Yeah. Right, right, right. Every time. But I was like, take my money. And we carried, we called it the baby for the rest of the night. Do you want to hold the baby?

JP:

you know, hold the baby, put the baby in the

Ash:

Does the baby need more popcorn? We had to, we had to put the baby in daycare so that we could ride a ride in the locker.

JP:

Yeah.

Ash:

Yeah, I'm so, yeah, I do. I love him a lot. He's a good baby.

JP:

On the gram! Yeah. Make sure that, Hey, if anybody has feedback or you want to send us your, uh, January had some good points. Uh, you want to send us your emotional support movie or song from your childhood. Um, email us at the dank pod at gmail. com. Uh, you can also find us on the gram at the dank pod. Um,

Ash:

Or if you have rapid fire questions you would like answered.

JP:

Maybe, yeah. Fly in by, fly in by Natalie. Tag Natalie on them. Uh, send them to Natalie at, uh, Natalie, uh, what's your email?

Ash:

And I mean, not for nothing, we're talking to Alec because he's our OneFan.

JP:

he's the only one we got. Is it just Justin? Justin. Yeah. Fair enough.

Ash:

Is it just Justin? Fair enough. They alternate weeks, that's

JP:

How much does he charge for that touch and go?

Ash:

They're basically like a 5 and they equate to OneFan.

JP:

Do I have to call in for the rates? I would like to, yeah, I might like that. Um, you know, I've been doing, I broke my hand trying to do The Stranger a couple weeks ago. So, um, yeah, it'd be nice to rent that from him. Uh, how do you guys know what The Stranger is? That's not cool. You're not supposed to know at all. Exactly. You can't play dumb now. I saw you laugh like you got it. That's, no, you've outed, you've outed yourself.

Ash:

yourself. No, don't play,

JP:

No, don't play, don't play dumb. You know what it is.

Ash:

Oh man, a stranger for myself. I don't want

JP:

Oh man, the strangers, when you sit on your hand till it goes numb,

Ash:

a

JP:

then go take care of business. Because it feels like a stranger then. Look at, look at Natalie, just getting it.

Ash:

fuck is Alec? Why

JP:

Where the fuck is Alec?

Ash:

Pa Guys, guys, pause for editing, cause I can't, I can not, I can't put it.

JP:

I can't, I can not, I can't put jerk off instructions in this. Let me hit unrecord.

Ash:

Is this like baby hand? No, it's

Bernard:

And that wraps up another magical episode of the DANK Pod! Remember to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. Find us on instagram at the dank pod online at thedankpod dot com and send any questions, comments, or suggestions to thedankpod@gmail.com We hope you enjoyed our chats and Disney Adult takes on Walt Disney World. Remember, even as adults, we’re all just kids at heart when it comes to the magic of Disney. Thanks for tuning in, and until next time, stay DANK!”